Where Art Thou, Dan Cortese?

Editor’s note: This submission was written by guest blogger, and a man who cried whenShawn Michaels kicked Marty Janetty through the barbershop window, Bob Sacamano

Let’s go into a bit of a fantasy world here for a few minutes; You are playing in a televised basketball game. You’re team is down 10 points with 40 seconds on the clock. Isiah Rider passes the ball to Bill Bellamy who throws it to you at the wing 25 feet from the basket. You let it fly right in Dean Cain’s stupid-face. Nothing but net and your team is now up 15 points.

At this point you are probably thinking that you are either on LSD or having a fever dream the likes that you have never heard of before. Oh no, this is no dream or really bad trip. This used to be a reality…

If you haven’t caught on yet, there used to be a yearly event on MTV called Rock and Jock Basketball. What you need to know is all there in the title. They used to have professional athletes and celebrities from the world of movies, TV, and music compete in basketball with some crazy inventive rules like the moving basket or my personal favorite, the 25 point shot. This later got spun off to softball where Frank Thomas once hit a ball that still hasn’t landed. (I’m not kidding. For all we know this homerun might be still going*. Not that he was on the juice or anything. I mean a man built like a NFL left tackle playing baseball in the 1990’s…).

But the basketball was always my favorite, so much so that my group of friends used to play this game. We used to take chalk and make special circles on the court that were worth a certain amount of points. We would play for hours at this game each trying to see if we could hit the full court 75 point shot. (Other games we made up and played Around the House Football, Knee Football, Powerball, and Soccer Ball Whiffle Ball to name a few. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, there was not a girl in site for most of our pubescent years).

In a world were the most watched shows are reality TV this concept of Rock and Jock sports can’t be done? You are trying to tell me that Coolio (who currently is selling a cook book with his soul food recipes) is not available to play? Huey Lewis? **What great project is the kid that played Urkel doing that he couldn’t play? And come on, every kid from ‘Teen Mom’ or ‘16 & Pregnant’ or ‘Younger Than Your Average Mom’ or whatever the hell the name of the show is called would be there.  They can’t be that expensive to make and they could very easily fill up the rosters with washed up athletes and F list celebrities.

So come on MTV do the right thing and bring it back. I think you can clear some space in your lineup of ‘RJ Berger’, ‘True Life: I Hate My Body’, and ‘Teenwolf’. (Notice how none of those were actually music related. Funny considering this is Music Television.) I’ll watch. I’m pretty sure that you would watch. I’ll even make the first call; can someone get me Dan Cortese’s number?


Editor’s note: It Probably landed eventually

** That is an incredible sketch by Conan that you really, really should watch

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