Everybody Do Not Dance Now

WELCOME BACK, IT’S MONDAY!

I don’t care for this performance. And I’ll let you know why: I’m watching it and I can’t but help thinking of the children.

I can’t help but think of a young MattDotRich – racing home from school, locking the doors of his room and working tirelessly on learning the dance to “Cotton Eyed Joe.” 3:30 til whenever my very judgmental father came back from work, everyday, working on them moves cuz lord knows you’re not touching any girl’s shoulders during Brian McKnight’s ‘Anytime’ if you couldn’t keep up with Cotton Eye Joe. You’re drinking Sprite, eating a slice of Domino’s and telling people you think you’ve got a stomach ache and don’t feel like you could dance anyways, knowing that your car ride home will be filled with chatter by CEJ capable friends who slow danced to MULTIPLE songs.

And now this?! Where do I even find all these glowsticks? And how many do I have to go through before me and my boys can do the cool snake into a dude kissing a chick thing? Probably a couple dozen, right? Like 3 or 4 dozen glow sticks just for one awesome move? And what if the lady you’re trying to impress isn’t into alien snakes? I just spent 4 weeks of landscaping money, and I’m still not dancing to “Always Be My Baby”? NO THANKS.

Bottom line: It’s time for Obama to (finally!) deliver – NO MORE GLOW STICK DANCING!

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semi related video: a slow dance for teens


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